I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
