i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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