Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
