He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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