you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
