Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Bring me that man meat
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
