I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My nipple is on Facebook.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
