How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
