maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
