Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I understand Curling. That high.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
