I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
