I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
