Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We had to coat check the pizza.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
