put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
