dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
send nudes
from the living room?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
