Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My life is pants optional.
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