We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
