This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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