Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
