I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
