This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
