can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
