Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
