Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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