R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we're making bets on your personal life
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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