I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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