I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
