bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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