The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
