Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize