thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
