So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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