I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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