Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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