He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
