can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
