i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
