I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
