Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
