It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
