Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
