OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
