Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
