So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
