I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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