Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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