i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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