Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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