I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
