I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im holly from the hills drunk
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
